Saturday, July 3, 2010

Swim to the Moon

I am doing bad in school. I cant keep my head straight. I am addicted to the computer. I feel anxious if I dont use it. The funny thing is that I didn play any online poker for 2 weeks and I am falling behind school.

I cant seem to focus...

I wished I went home before starting summer school. I feel so homesick right now. I dont really have that many friends here, the ones I used to hang out with just plain suck. I have been sober for a long time and I have finally reached the point of my life where I really hate being around alcohol cuz it makes me so sick. The memories of that night keeps coming back every time i see it.

Tick tock tick tock...

That is all I hear in the head. I lost so much time here. I wish I never lived in the house. I wish I never lost touch with my friends from high school. I wish for so many things.

I crave that poison...

I am looking for the next thing. I want to see what the other side of campus is like. The non party people. I know there is a place for me here, but I cant find it.

This is not what I imagined...

I need to go back to counseling and maybe therapy. I want to know why I feel this way for the last decade.


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