Slow Hand of Death

I got less than a week till i go back to Champaign. I have been thinking alot about what im gonna do with my life. i started having anxiety when i was fixing my schedule for next semester. something in my mind was telling me that i will have a bad schedule once i talk to my advisor. i have not decided on a major yet, and that it is very bad. why am i procrastinating? its simple. i know for sure i will end up doing something totally different from my major once i graduate. so whats the point of doing all this work when you know you are not gonna be doing what you studied for?

i met with CEOs and owners of companies during our fraternity's convention at a networking breakfast and they started out differently. One has degrees in political science and english and guess what he is working as? CEO of a finance firm. another was an electrical engineer for 22 years and got a mid-management crisis so he founded a financial planning company.

what the fuck...

I really dont know what i want to become. all i want to do is to pick a major, graduate and get the fuck out of America. im getting tired of living here. people think i have a great life. well that is true, i have a great home and family, i got accepted to a fine institution, im becoming a citizen, but i dont really know if im really happy with my life. i worked so hard to get to a university and it took my 3 semesters to mess it up.

Even though im feeling down about my college academic career, i am more confident in myself knowing that i have networked with successful people and gained some insight on landing the job i want. i have all these books that i choose to read so that i can be better than who i was before. i can look at the past as lessons and the future as life. its how i perceive the world.